Lost passion of life
by yuki riri
Summary: Depressed . alone . despair . unloved . hated . this is my description and my story how i lost the passsion to live and was ready to die and how i found the passion of life in him


_**Passion of life**_

Today when I look back at my life I find it all jumpy with many ups and down and I guess life cannot run with out those ups and downs . with out them we would be simply dead . I achieved everything in my life I always dreamed about except I still feel the same hallow feeling I had when I walked to school that day . may be it was because of that person I never once forgot since the day I left tomeoda and how I persuaded my dream and returned to that one person I always belonged

10 years back

*giggles*

*laughs*

*whispers*

*comments*

The same old school . The same old People .I hate this .

I started walking to school thinking of something depressing that could inspire me . I entered the classroom and every heads turned away . According to them I was an outcast with the way I dress its pretty common to think . I have no friends and I love being alone . im a depressed person with pain filled heart and empty inside ….

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( I'm sakura kinomoto eighteen year old depressed lonely gothic topper .. I live in tomoeda since particularly forever . I have a father who loves me so much but cant make time for me and a brother who hates me . this is my intro … )

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May be you are wondering what's so bad in being all gothic n top the thing is everyone finds me boring . even my own best friend finds me boring other than her I have one more bestiee I cant spend so much time with .

I'm not so hot not even pretty with my shoulder length hair and childish emerald eyes . No one found me interesting

I wasn't this way before . it started when I was in middle school till then I was a happy go lucky girls with lots of friends very popular . And then slowly I started realizing my friends were fake they are using me for their own purpose . I was hurt . I over came it slowly and then again yet I was hurt . Then it all started . I started getting depressed . I never had anyone to speak with . whom ever I spoke wasn't really interested in my pain . Every one had their own conceited reasons .

Then It started I become an artist . I wrote poetries. Every one admired my work but still I was empty inside all hollow . I wanted to be free I wanted to open up but there was none . Then It changed my thoughts my life everything

I got into high school in some different place among new people

I thought I could fit in there yet again it was the same I was different from them they never liked me

In this chaos I found a bet friend . even though she stays her words hurt me unknown to her she thinks im boring…

Pretty much

I forgot the dreams I had . I lost the passion to live . I wanted to die never had the courage .my dreams so much to do so much achieve I was a fantasizer . I had so great dreams . I forgot everything

I was plunged in to the depths of darkness . I started drowning in my own despair . I started believing im unloved I'm never wanted . a

And then it finally cracked . I'm no more the innocent girl I was

Till then I was holding on to my theories of good

And finally it cracked in such a way never be healed

I found those broken pieces attached them like an abstract art broken yet beautiful

My mind changed and then my life changed

I found solace in silence peace in being alone but yet I forgot my dreams the passion I had for life till then

And one day an unexpected friend came to my life he said he wanna fulfill my dreams and then I was thinking and I understood I had locked them and with time they lay forgotten

He asked me to search my self and then I remembered them with that I got my passion back

Yet at last his words disturbed me

He said " I have seen since so long I noticed your lonely so I wanted to know what's your problem is . you will find someone who will fulfill your dreams I cant do it as I have a girlfriend and she is my world "

There it goes again struck a chord in the heart I never had someone said that about me no one to love me but then again I was happy

My passion for life was back but yet I was hollow again

Fell into that despair of loneliness

I smile yet I was sad

Then I found him like light in my life . he loved me with all his heart I knew it but we never got that topic

His name was syaoran .

We became friends . he was with me through my despair through my suffering . he has seen me at my lowest but never left me

He knew my dreams . I wanted to become a great artist , I wanted to be a ballerina . I want to travel the world and I knew if he ask me to stay I would leave everything for him because I was also in love with him . we never expressed to each other but we knew we loved each other so much that we would give up everything for other yet he never asked me to stay by his side

He said I need to fulfill my dreams . he persuaded me to go back of them

He helped me to do it I applied for the great arts university in New York and got selected . I left tomeoda to pursue my dreams . we were never in touch after that . I never had a chance to take a glance back in no time I graduated I was the top of my class during my university I joined the ballet classes and I became a great dancer to

I was renowned for my dance I participated in many shows many operas I was the became the best dancer of my generation . After my graduation I became an artist painting the despairs of people portraying the gloom and sadness that can never be described with words . my works sold world wide I was the greatest artist every body knew . yet I never stayed at one place I used to travel and capture peoples emotion and paint them on canvas . I feel as if paintings speaks louder than words . I mostly portrayed negative life loneliness despair depression of people but yet every work was different every work showed something different than the previous one

Painting was my life my only escape from this world that was filled with vicious demons and their saplings . I used to sketch when I was child when I was sad when I was happy that was the only companion I had and today that made me the greatest person I always wanted to be as a child .

I was satisfied with al my life I have achieved everything I wanted to. I thought I could finally find peace after achieving everything I wanted to do after fulfilling my dreams yet I still have that same old empty feeling .

I entered my room rented in the hotel and grabbed my suitcase and began searching for that old satchel bag I had hidden from everyone all these years I opened it and found a album

I flipped the pages half the way and there did I stop

His photo smiling at me showing his pearly teeth and I began flipping one by one and memories raced through my mind with a speed of light and at the end I found myself crying for the person I loved and I still love I know I have to see him may be he belongs to someone else but she needed to see him

She remembered him saying once " I want to buy a house in the outskirts of tomeoda and live there with a big beautiful garden surrounded by cherry blossom trees and I want to open a li corp here I wanna spend rest of my life here

She booked a ticket to Japan immediately and in 4 long hours of unbearable torture she was finally in tomoeda.

She rented a car and drove to the place she knew his house would be if he ever lived here and she found a beautiful place as if though a part of heaven had fallen from sky she entered the garden and there he was watering the plants like his life depended on it humming her favorite song that she forget in time

He was watering it so beautiful he looked like an angel from heaven belonging to this place that has especially came down for him

I began walking to him and stepped on a twig that snapped and he raised his head as I disturbed the serenity

He was surpeised at first to see me and then he smiled that smile I iknew this the place I belong for rest of my life in his arms I jumped into his arms and began sobbing he gently lifted my chin and kissed me for the first time

In that moment I didn't feel empty anymore I was complete with him

And that's how my story ended with all the depression I had and all bumps loneliness becoming great person I understood you can be happy with only those who loves you

And then my passion for life is him

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Authors note : I hope you people love this story . I simply wanted to show how a girl all depressed and alone on the brink of wanting to die has been changed to a successful person by someone who loved her . thanks for reading guys I hope you review


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